Saturday, October 10, 2009

Kirby Klassiks

"There came a time when the old gods died!"

There is something so bizarrely, wonderfully eloquent about these opening words of the Fourth World saga's flagship title, something that sums up the condition of our culture in the twentieth century. We had lost the old beliefs. There is also something hopeful about the exclamation point. Somehow, recognizing the death of old gods as a crisis situation, worthy of exclamation, seems more proactive than a more passive period would have been. This is not an admission of despair and defeat, but a call to life, a call to activity, a rekindling. Already by the end of the sentence we are looking ahead to how to fix the situation. With the old gods dead, new gods are needed. Or really, perhaps the old gods again in new forms. Finnegans wake.

"No more glorious sight has ever greeted any eyes than that of New Genesis."

Friday, October 9, 2009

Funked Up Funk


Wanna funk up your Groovy Pad, cat? Look no further than this collection of weird wild sounds from The In Sound which collects some of the jazziest funk and some avante garde jazz. It's the real deal, Neil. This ain't no wack attack, Jack!

Getting us off to a groovy start is Gary Burton's "Vibrafinger". Also featured on the first side is Sun Ra, surely jazz' answer to Jack Kirby, whose experimental cosmic cool sounds right at home here. On my copy the tracks have been listed incorrectly on the sleeve, so that the first side ends with Freddie Hubbard's surreal "This Is Combat I Know", German cabaret on acid with an anti war message. Side two kicks off with Yusef Luteef's "Raymond Winchester" (listed as the last track of the first side), with a swaying background against which is set some bizarrely whining horns going into some straightforward fuzzed out funk guitar that only seems to be lulling us into complacency so we'll be taken once again by the whining horns. It calls to mind some of Kool & The Gang's more experimental stuff. This along with the next cut, Charles Lloyd's "Sorcery", may be my favourite cuts on the record. The latter crosses Superfly-style chase music with Sonny Rollins-style expressionism for a very soulful and fun musical ride.

Track Three on side two may be my least favourite. Not that the music is bad, it just seems fairly pedestrian after what has preceded it. Possibly the compilers figured we needed a break. It is Black Heat's "Check It All Out", which is a proto rap funk break over which are shouted lyrics of seventies social commentary, so general that in fact they end up sounding completely current, ie The president's responsible for all that is bad, prices increasing, jobs decreasing, we are using up the earth's resources, etc. Music to read Dennis O'Neil's Green Lantern/Green Arrow by.

They saved one of the weirdest for the last. Freddie Hubbard (again) with "Threnody For Sharon Tate", a tuneless tune over which are spoken lines that sound like they're sound bites from a European Satansploitation film. Which is just my speed. I might have to track down more Freddie Hubbard.

What we end up with is something that sounds like the soundtrack of the ultimate psychedelic exploitation movie of the late sixties/early seventies, the era that the tracks are from. Like if Jess Franco and Jack Hill went on a binge and made a movie together. We are left only able to imagine the unimaginable movie this sound track would go with.

Next time you have a Groovy Lady over at your Soul Shack, cat, lay this platter on down and see if the chick digs. If she bolts, she is not that groovy and it was not meant to be.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Hepcat Hermit Predicts...


NASA has discovered Saturn has yet another ring!!!

I PREDICT...

Next they will discover it also has a candelabra, wears a cape and is playing the piano.


















<--(possible close-up of Saturn?)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Reason #456,679 Why 1966 Is the Coolest Year on Record


Harrison Ford's first screen appearance...with Coburn!!!


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Abyss Was a TOTAL RIPOFF Of This Ad

Photobucket

Note: Whenever I say something was a total ripoff, I'm joking. The real purpose of this entry is to make fun of what a knee jerk reaction declaring something a ripoff is. It's gotten way out of hand thanks to illiterates having access to the internet.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Read This Blog Regularly, If You Want Results Like These!!!



BEFORE READING HEPCAT HERMITS:
















AFTER:























"I DUNNO, IT SELLS ITSELF!!!"




Monday, September 21, 2009

Happy Birthday HG Wells!!!



THANKS FOR COMING UP WITH ALL KINDS OF COOL STUFF!!!




Sunday, September 20, 2009

It's Gear, It Is

After the Marvel mayhem of last week, it's time for a return to solemnity with DC Showcase # 69, which offers us a sobering look at the many ways in which vacuous people attempt to fill their shallow lives, not realizing that their shallow lives can never be filled because of how deep the despair is inside all that shallowness. How that's possible, I have no idea. Maybe it involves some kind of emotional space warp or existential pocket universe.

The Maniaks are a group of young minstrels who may appear on the surface to be having lighthearted fun, but are in the fact each of them walking desperate cries for help.

First, we open with one of the members, Flip, standing on the ledge of a building. As police try to dissuade him from jumping, he is so distraught that he is unable to admit that it is a suicide threat, and makes the claim that he is merely taking a walk on the ledge. This sort of transference is common among people desperate for any kind of relief from despair. They want the other people to notice their pain, not to have to point it out themselves.

We then meet other members of the band, such as Jangles. He is so empty and devoid of a sense of identity that he has become expert at doing impressions, to such a degree he can even alter his head to look like a dog's head or a giant firecracker. He wants to be anything besides himself. Pack Rat, the drummer, may be emotionally the most healthy of the band, as he has learned to let out his frustrations when he "pounds skins".

Silver Shannon is the band's lead singer, and possibly the most troubled, singing a song in which she blankly repeats "I'm going down the road feeling bad cause I got me a pebble in my shoe", lyrics that would make Nico seem perky by comparison. Most of the plot of this issue involves her attempts to fill the yawning chasm in her soul with worldly possessions, even convincing herself to marry a man for his wealth. We are shown his many possessions, none of which can satisfy Silver, so deep is the yawning chasm of unhappiness within her shallow soul, and so shallow are her values that make her deeply unhappy. As she says, "What good is happiness? It can't buy money!"

A dark, disturbing look at the disenfranchised youth of the late sixties and their increasing disassociation and disaffection. All the vices brought on by existential pain are explored here, including womanizing, gambling, and using slang. Highly recommended for its sharp observations about twentieth century alienation, but afterward you might want to perk yourself up with a nice lighthearted Ingmar Bergman movie.


Saturday, September 19, 2009

Stuff White & Nerdy People Hate:

CREATORS NOT OWNING THE RIGHTS TO THEIR OWN CREATION AND CREATORS OWNING THE RIGHTS TO THEIR OWN CREATION.


"Ooh, I just hate how Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster were SCREWED out of the rights to Superman so the company could then allow other creators to work on Jerry and Joe's creation, and give them very little money for it. Only the original creator should work on his own creation...The only thing that burns me up more is how George Lucas GREEDILY holds onto the rights of Star Wars, his own creation, and will not allow other creators to work on it, except with his own approval, and makes huge profits from it. Oooh!"

Friday, September 18, 2009

What The...?!

This has unofficially evolved into Marvel week at HH, so we now close it out with some praise of the new comic Strange Tales, sort of a Marvel version of DC's Bizarro World, in which indie authors and artists get to have some fun at the expense of company characters.

From the opening shot, in which the Watcher is peeping on She-Hulk in the shower, we know it's going to be good. There's a lot of variety, but no surprise my two favourites were Paul Pope's Inhumans story and Peter Bagge's Hulk story, the latter of which is actually continuing through the three issues of Strange Tales.

Pope's Inhumans story involves the team dog Lockjaw, who is able to teleport but does not possess opposable thumbs, thus making it difficult for him to open a can of gourmet dog food that Medusa and the rest of the gang bought for him. Every time they are about to open it for him, they are called away to fight another menace, including Psycho-Man - who refers to himself as "He who is called Psycho-Man." Ah, I love that stuff. I've always wanted to refer to myself that way, and often do in my head. Lockjaw eventually finds a novel way to open the can. Pope did the cover of this ish as well, which includes some of the most visually arresting Marvel characters, such as Dr. Strange's squeeze Clea, who has possibly the funkiest hairdo in all comic-dom, and Beta Ray Bill, who is somehow an alien, a horse, and another Thor all in one.

Bagge's Hulk story has a wonderful premise. As Bruce Banner, he meets a female scientific colleague who is dignified and intelligent. As Hulk, he meets a biker chick who is skanky and trashy. Misunderstandings are sure to ensue, and I'm looking forward to future installments.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Look At Mr. Lee: Still The Man

Who'da thunk it? Stan Lee still writes a regular Spider-man comic strip. Not only that, but it's good and fun, the best Spidey stuff I've read in years, and it is being published in current issues of Comic Shop News. It's illustrated by Stan's younger brother,
Larry Lieber (Stan's real name is Stanley Martin Lieber). Lieber the Younger draws in a smooth style in that middle area between cartoony and realistic like past masters such as Kurt Schaffenberger and Ramona Fradon (and more currently, Amanda Conner). Another thing that is noteworthy about the current strips is they involve a Peter Parker married to Mary Jane, a situation that I've never before seen work as well. The current storyline involves some hijinks as Peter and Mary Jane try to keep Wolverine from finding out his identity. There is a technical flaw in this whole idea, as Wolverine possesses a sniffer that should immediately recognize that Peter and Spidey are one and the same (if memory serves that's how Wolvie discovered the identity in comic book continuity - "Scents don't lie - that kid's Spider-man!"), but that aside (and it's always possible Logan already knows and is just having some fun at Spidey's expense), it's fun to read Lee's version of Wolverine, especially when he refers to Mary Jane as a desperate housewife, haha! On a sentimental note, I also like that Lieber draws Peter with wavey hair a la John Romita, Sr.'s version from the seventies. It's more realisitic, since anyone's hair would get wavey from being in a sweaty mask for hours on end! But seriously, it just looks more like how I picture Peter Parker (picked a peck of etc.). Obviously because I grew up (in a manner of speaking) with the John Senior version, for me I recognize the guy when he's got a couple forehead curls pointing at each other (I may or may not have, at about age twelve, tried to force my hair to do that in emulation of Peter, you'll never get me to confess).

So I recommend the strips, they're fun and funny in a Silver Age way and best of all free at most comic stores with the purchase of something else, they run six to an issue of CSN, in full colour -it's a heck of a bargain.


Hmmm, he can call her "Honey" in public but not lift his mask to half mast? Sooo unrealistic!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Hepcat Hermit Conspiracy Theories

Donny & Marie are clearly time travellers, as this stunning new(ish) photograph proves. Or perhaps sorcerers. Or from space. Or all three.
In my mind I always associated them with the Wonder Twins. Which obviously makes Jimmy Gleek.
Hmm, time travel, Jimmy/Gleek/Jimmy the Greek...?
It's all beginning to add up. To what I have no idea.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Sunday, September 13, 2009

So...


Who wants to be the first to tell Darkseid he doesn't really have the legs for a mini-skirt?

Friday, September 11, 2009

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Hal Jordan


I don't know, I just kind of always assumed Green Lantern's power ring automatically kept his hair from getting messed up. Apparently not?

Maybe it's using too much energy keeping Super Grover chained up there.